Frequently Asked Questions by Men Before Therapy

What issues do men who seek out therapy usually deal with?

It is usual for men to seek out therapy to learn to express their emotions in a healthy way rather than stuffing them down. This usually leads to anger and/or depression. It can also get in the way of our relationships, like connecting on an emotional level with our significant others. Other issues include grief/loss, self-esteem, anxiety, addiction, difficulty in their relationships, risk-taking, perfectionism, having a hard time feeling positive emotions, and intimacy issues.

Can I come to therapy if I want to work on non-substance abuse related issues?

Absolutely. As mentioned above, substance abuse is one of a number of issues men seek therapy for. I help men work through everyday issues that they feel can get in the way of everyday life like communication, working through emotions, conflict management, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, intimacy issues, and a number of other common topics.

I don’t think I am an alcoholic, do I need to stop drinking before I commit to therapy?

You do not need to be an alcoholic in order to want to stop drinking, and you do not need to stop drinking to commit to therapy. Therapy is a great way for us to explore why we are asking for help and the reasons why we are drinking. During our first session, I will ask you about your patterns of drinking, and we will develop a treatment plan to help you find better ways to manage the emotions that usually lead you to drink.

How do I know if my drinking is a problem?

One of the many great AA slogans, “one’s too many and a thousand is never enough.” A good way to determine if you have a drinking problem is if you have ever dealt with any negative consequences due to your use. This can include physical effects, the next day's emotional hangover, causing stress in your relationships, people getting upset at you, going into work late, and not being able to perform at work to name a few. Despite all of this, we will always do it over again. Another indicator is if we feel the need to “self-medicate” which is drinking to help deal with anxiety, depression, grief, or any intense emotion that we do not like to feel. Sometimes we will justify our drinking if we can function at our jobs, but we will usually find a lot of our time centered around drinking, and recovering from the effects of drinking. If you are unsure, we can always talk about it and truthfully assess where you are.

What if I know my use is a problem?

I like to think of early recovery as building a house. We need a firm foundation using sturdy bricks to help us build upon and support us for years to come. Addiction is a disease, and recovery is not one size fits all. It is important to find out what works for you to help you stay sober. If you are seeking help after completing rehab, or after stopping use, therapy is there for extra support to help unpack emotions as well as help correct old behaviors by setting goals. Together, we will create a relapse prevention plan along with a treatment plan to help you maintain sobriety.